Trouble Sleeping
by fairiel
Summary: Steve cannot sleep at night because he's thinking about Bucky touching himself in the next room.


4:45. Again, Steve thinks. It's been ages since he can remember sleeping well at night. Mainly, he tosses and turns until his body shuts out and then three hours later, his eyes open and he lies awake staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about Bucky in the next room. It generally doesn't work, so he gets up and goes to the kitchen to have a glass of milk. This time though, he doesn't even bother to take a glass from the shelf. He just drinks from the carton, fridge door open. Is it doing him any good? He does not know. He was raised with the idea that milk would make him stronger. And still he remained painfully small and sickly. Still, the habit stayed ingrained in him, even after the serum made it useless. How ironic.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and closes the fridge door. Time to go back to bed and pretend he had a good night of sleep. He passes by Bucky's bedroom on his way. No, he will not look through the half open door. Not this time. He will resist the temptation. It is too hard knowing Bucky is so close and not be able to touch him. This is precisely the reason why sleep evades him.

He can hear the sound of Bucky's heavy breath. It is ringing in his ears, calling him, telling him to look. He is weak, as always. Just a peep, he tells himself. What harm is there in that? He pushes the door slightly, getting the perfect angle on Bucky's naked body. And as always, he cannot repress a blush as he stares at his friend, splayed on the covers, pleasuring himself.

Steve cannot really see Bucky's face in the darkness, but every single one of his breaths makes his skin itch. Bucky's metal hand sliding back and forth on his member is hypnotizing. How did Steve even think he could resist watching him? Now he cannot help wondering if the metal of Bucky's hand would be cold or warm to the touch. He bites his lips as heat floods his body and he has to seize the doorknob to steady himself.

He breathes deeply, wanting nothing more than to rush in the bedroom and beg Bucky to have his way with him. But as always, he does not act on his impulse and stays there, watching, mouth and eyes watering. His longing resonates deep inside his belly and he can feel his cock strain against the fabric of his pajama pants. Cheeks burning, he takes his eyes away from Bucky with great effort. He leans against the corridor wall, panting. His hand reaches inside his pants to try and find some relief.

"Steve?"

He starts, back pressed even further into the wall, hand on hold.

"Like what you see?"

Steve gasps. All he wants to do right now is disappear into the tiniest mouse hole.

"Come on, Steve. Don't be shy. I know you've been watching me for a long time now" Bucky continues.

Steve whines, hand now forming a fist that he slams into the wall. How is it possible? So much for subtlety. What feels like endless minutes pass in silence.

"Don't make me get up, Steve. Just get your ass inside!" Bucky commands.

Much to his surprise, Steve finds it impossible to resist his friend's imperious tone. He shuffles in, his massive frame bumping awkwardly on the door, looking at his feet. He cannot remember being more embarrassed in his whole life, not even when he tried to tell little Charlotte, who lived two doors away when they were kids, that he liked her and she had laughed and told the whole neighborhood. No, not even then. His cheeks sting with shame at the filthy thoughts that cross his mind as he finally catches sight of Bucky, sitting up on the bed, in his glorious nudity. He averts his eyes, uncertain where to look.

"You certainly took your time" Bucky says, raising an eyebrow.

Is Steve imagining things, or are Bucky's eyes trailing on his body, settling on his crotch with a smirk?

"Could you please-" Steve starts. "I mean, this is weird. Could you at least cover yourself?"

"Why?" Bucky chuckles. "Don't you like the sight of me? Or maybe you liked it better when you thought I wasn't aware you were ogling me."

Steve bites his lips, uneasy. He cannot say he does not appreciate Bucky's naked skin glistening in the faint light coming from the lamp post just behind the window. He opens his mouth, ready with an answer but Bucky cuts him with one sharp motion of his hand.

"Cut the crap, Steve. What do you want?"

What does he want? Oh, if only Bucky knew what filthy dreams filled his nights lately. Where does he even start? He has no idea what he wants exactly. Bucky. That's what he wants. Bucky's body pressed closed to his, their mouths locked in a kiss. Bucky's metal hand stroking his cock as he was stroking his own just moments ago. And more, so much more. Things he cannot put words on. Things he never knew he could feel for another guy. His head swims and he tenses, closing his eyes. What if Bucky is only playing with him?

"Tell me now!"

Again, that tone of command that Steve finds so hard to resist. Oh, how he would like Bucky to order him to do filthy things to him. He wants nothing more but to comply, to get used and used again until all his desires are satisfied. Maybe then, sleep would find him. Maybe then, everything would find its right place in the universe.

"I-" Steve stammers. "I want you" he finishes miserably, almost choking on the word.

This is it, he thinks. The point of no return. Either he has just made a fool of himself and he will never hear the end of it, or Bucky feels the same way and all the planets align in perfect harmony.

"Wow. Finally" Bucky says. "Took you long enough to admit it."

Steve raises his eyes to meet Bucky's. There is not a trace of mockery in his friend's voice. In fact, Bucky is beckoning him to come closer. Steve approaches, taking one step after the other in utter bewilderment. What is happening? He has no idea, but whatever it is, the smile on Bucky's lips tells him it is going to be good.

"Kneel" Bucky orders.

Steve gets to his knees in front of the other man. His jaw tenses as Bucky's serious eyes stare into his. All of a sudden, Bucky's hands cup his face, pulling him until their lips meet. It feels like a million stars are about to explode in his chest. Bucky's mouth tastes so good, his wet lips at the same time hard and soft, teeth snapping playfully at Steve. Heart pounding loud, Steve melts into Bucky's arms as the other man's mouth moves along his jaw towards his neck.

"Goddamnit, Buck" he manages to say. "I thought you were into girls."

Bucky's laugh is soft against his neck.

"I'm as gay as gay is. Always have been. Just didn't know how to break it to you back then."

Steve sighs in utter relief. Bucky resumes his kisses, nuzzling him right under the ear, his fingers pulling at his hair to expose even more throat.

"Especially with Peggy around" Bucky continues. "But hey, if you're into me now, I'm not going to complain."

The revelation takes time to sink in, amidst Bucky's wet kisses and light caresses. A whirlwind of thoughts collides all at once in Steve's head. He suddenly regrets waiting so long to reveal his feelings to his friend. What if they had not wasted all that time? He pulls Bucky closer, wrapping his strong arms around him, as if afraid he would lose him a second time.

Bucky lets out a gasp as he crushes against Steve's chest.

"Hey, Stevie. Take it slow, will you?"

"Just wish I'd told you earlier" Steve murmurs before burying his face in the other man's shoulder.

Bucky only strokes his hair gently.

"There, there" he replies. "We have all the time in the world."

Steve raises his face, and only then does Bucky notice that his eyes are wet.

"I don't want to take it slow, Buck. I want it all, now."

Bucky brushes on finger on Steve's cheek.

"Are you sure?"

If he is sure? Right now, the intensity of his desire for Bucky is the only thing Steve is sure of. The world could crumble down in apocalypse, he would want nothing more than Bucky's cock inside him. That thirst has been in him for so long, he has no idea how much he can wait until his whole body explodes with the strength of his craving.

"Yes, I'm sure" he says. "I want you. All of you. Don't you want me?"

It makes him sick to beg but if it is what it takes, he is ready to do it over and over again.

"Oh, Stevie" Bucky sighs. "You have no idea how much I want you."

"Then have me" Steve pleads, taking Bucky's hand and directing it to his crotch.

Bucky smirks at Steve's eagerness. He leans in to kiss Steve again, all teeth and tongue and mingling saliva. Steve moans in his mouth as Bucky slides down the bed to sit on his lap. He can feel Bucky's hard member grind against him through the fabric of his pajamas and he shifts uneasily. He wants it, he knows he does, but the feeling is so strange, and he has never been this close to anyone, man or woman, in his whole life.

"What's wrong?" Bucky asks, sensing the sudden tension in Steve's body.

"N-Nothing" Steve replies, afraid of breaking the atmosphere. "I've never done it before, that's all."

Bucky's eyes widen as he realizes the truth.

"When you say never, you mean you've never been with a man before, alright?" he asks but he already knows Steve's answer.

"Buck, don't make me say it" Steve grimaces. "It's embarrassing enough."

Bucky wets his lips, smirking again.

"You mean you're still a virgin?"

Steve nods, his cheeks coloring against his will.

"Oh my god, Steve, that is so cute" Bucky smiles at him, kissing his nose. "Are you still sure you want me to-"

Steve cuts him short with a full kiss on the mouth, grinding his belly against Bucky's erection.

"Alright. First, we need to get rid of these clothes" Bucky says, punctuating each word with a button from Steve's pajama shirt. "Seriously Steve, who wears pajamas anymore?" he adds with a smile as he reaches the last button.

It pops open, and Bucky slides the shirt down Steve's shoulders, then proceeds to kiss and stroke Steve everywhere he can. His cold metal hand feels alien and at the same time so familiar. Strangely enough, it is neither cold nor warm. It is harder than his other hand, though, and the idea that this metal hand could at one point stroke his cock makes goosebumps erupt everywhere.

Bucky pushes Steve back on the floor, licking, kissing and biting chest and belly in the process. Steve tangles his fingers in Bucky's long hair with a moan as the other man gets closer to his waist. He feels hot all over, inside and outside, as if a burning river had replaced his blood. Bucky tugs at the seam of Steve's pajama pants, revealing his erection. His fingers flutter on the hard length before settling at the base, holding it firmly.

"God, Steve, you're so beautiful."

Steve has been called a lot of things before, but never beautiful. He frowns, uneasy, but the feeling is short-lived. Soon, Bucky's tongue licks the whole length of him, twirling on the tip. Steve shivers then quakes when Bucky takes him in his mouth. It is hot. It is wet. It is nothing like he has ever imagined. And yet, a million different sensations run through his body as Bucky sucks him back and forth, his hand squeezing his balls at the same time.

"Fucks!" he exclaims.

Bucky raises his eyes to look at him, smiling.

"You taste so good, Stevie" he whispers.

Steve smiles back at him. Bucky's tongue adds pressure and he closes his eyes, easing back down on the floor. Steve loses track of time, focusing only on Bucky's mouth on his cock. The burning river in his blood is now raging and threatening to overflow with each touch of Bucky's tongue. An uncontrollable buck of his hips sends his member far down Bucky's throat, making the other man gag.

"Ouch, sorry" Steve apologizes, not knowing what to do to make it up to Bucky.

But the other man only laughs it off.

"Yeah, don't worry. It happens. First time" he winks.

Bucky slides up Steve's body to kiss him on the mouth and their members touch for the first time without the fabric of Steve's pants between them. The kiss is intense, full of fire and unresolved desire. Steve's hands grip Bucky's hips. He can feel the other man's cock pulse as it rubs on his belly.

"Take me now, Buck" he whines, pushing at Bucky's butt. "I'm ready."

"No, you're not" Bucky replies, rolling away from him.

Steve lies disappointed on the floor. Is Bucky going to leave him here, body aching and throbbing, with only his own hands to relieve himself?

Bucky points to the bed.

"Get there, you'll be more comfortable."

Steve sighs with relief. Bucky is not yet done with him. He watches as his friend walks casually to the drawer, opening it to retrieve a tube. The faint light plays on his muscles, shadows forming to reveal the pleasant shape of his back and his powerful thighs. Oh, how Steve longs to have those thighs wrapped around him while Bucky maintains him in position with his metal hand. Sometimes, he wonders who is the strongest of the two, but he knows deep inside of him that even if he could beat Bucky in a fight, he would always submit to him in bed. Bucky could do anything to him, he would happily comply and even ask for more. He has no problem admitting it because he trusts Bucky. Deeply and completely. With his life.

Bucky is back on the bed, throwing the tube of lube on the sheets.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" he asks. "I mean, I could help you jerk off and it would still be a nice first time."

Steve shakes his head.

"What part of "I want you" didn't you understand, Buck? Or maybe, you don't want me enough."

Bucky is already upon him, pouncing like a predator on its prey. He splays Steve's legs open, kissing and licking the inside of his thighs, then his butt. When Bucky's tongue reaches his hole, Steve suddenly loses all ties to reality. The touch is strange but not unpleasant. He can feel Bucky spreading the lube, then a finger entering him. Now would be the time to freak out, but he feels strangely calm, as if he had been waiting for this his entire life. Bucky adds another finger.

"You're so beautiful" Bucky murmurs again. "So beautiful and so fucking tight. You need to relax, Stevie."

Steve takes a deep breath as Bucky starts pushing his fingers back and forth. Sudden pleasure bursts into him and he moans loud. He loses count of how many fingers are inside him. Did Bucky add another one? He is not sure. The only thing he is sure of is the rush of adrenaline each time Bucky pushes them forward.

"Good, Stevie. That's very good. Ease into it" Bucky chants, punctuating each word with a thrust of his fingers.

The fingers are gone now. Steve feels a slight frustration, soon over when Bucky's hard member grinds between his cheeks, not yet entering him, just sliding up and down really slow. Then with a slight motion of his hips, Bucky brings his tip inside. He pushes further as far as he dares to go, holding his breath.

"Oh Stevie, my sweet sweet Stevie" he sighs.

"Yes" Steve moans.

Bucky's cock feels incredibly good as he stays there, giving Steve time to get used to him. Bucky bends on Steve to kiss him as he begins to thrust back and forth. Steve ties his fingers in the other man's hair, returning the kiss fiercely. His feet press the back of Bucky's thighs, urging him to thrust even deeper.

"Stevie, oh Stevie, oh yes" Bucky chants, giving into it, his hand settling on Steve's erection, stroking him hard and fast.

Steve's body tenses as he feels his blood pound in his temples. Never before has he felt anything so intense and so pure. Bucky's member torturing his butt, his hand caressing his own cock, how much more can a man take? Deep within his core, an immense wave of pleasure threatens to take over.

"Buck, I think I'm coming" he hisses.

"Good, my Stevie" Bucky replies, his voice hoarse with his effort and his desire. "Come for me, come for your Bucky."

The wave crashes all of a sudden. Long tremors run through Steve's body as he jerks off in Bucky's hand, his hole tightening against the other man's cock.

"Ah, Stevie, you feel so good, let me come inside you, let me rip you apart."

"Yes, Buck, rip me apart, I'm yours to do as you will" Steve moans, meaning every word of it.

Bucky thrusts with no restraint now, pushing his cock further and further in until he explodes inside Steve. Even through his orgasm, he continues thrusting mercilessly until he crumples down on Steve's chest, heaving hard with his effort. Steve gently strokes his back, still in awe of what just happened.

After a while, Bucky rolls down, his breath slowly returning to normal. Steve cuddles into him, his arm around his friend's waist, softly nuzzling his neck. Sweetness, sleep is already there. It is exactly as he had predicted. A good fuck was all he needed. And the knowledge that Bucky wanted him too.

"Stevie, did you mean what you said?" Bucky whispers.

"What?" Steve mumbles, already half-asleep.

"You said you were mine" Bucky explains. "Did you mean it?"

"Every word" Steve says, closing his eyes again and finding a comfortable spot to place his head on Bucky's chest.

Sleep comes fast as Bucky tangles his legs with his, metal hand casually caressing his hair.


End file.
